I am many things, a size or hair colour is not one of those things

So here it is girls. No pictures, or swatches or reviews. This post is about some SRS BIZNIZ. It's about having a little love, and sharing a little love. So, as with every little bit of preaching, here's a little history...

I am 27. I have dyed my hair, cut my hair, dreadlocked my hair, shaved my head, pierced my nose, ears, bottom lip, lingual frenum and stretched both of my ears. I have worn a size 10,12,14,16 and 18. I cannot name one of those sizes, hairstyles or piercings that made me happy. Until I had a revelation. There are billions of people in this world and each of them looks different and finds different things beautiful or attractive. If I spent my time trying to appeal to all those people, I would no longer be me. I would be a million different pieces lurching in different directions. Then I realised that if I just did what I wanted, and wore what I liked and made me happy, then the world was diverse enough for me to one day find people who would just appreciate me.

Which leads me on to the message I want to convey with this blog. Its time we stopped laying down guidelines about how we should look, defining ourselves by sizes, and making assumptions about people because of the clothes they wear, the size they are or the style of their hair. I say this after seeing several tweets already today with 'i'm not eating ever again' and 'i wish i was a size 6'. Do you? Do you really? or do you wish that each day you woke up happy? The two are not intrinsically linked, let me tell you.

I cannot tell you how much of my life has been shackled by the insecurity of believing that people would only like me because of how I looked. Don't get me wrong, there are people out there who have done that, but that is truly their cross to bear, not mine. Imagine all the amazing opportunities those people will lose out on?  I am a trainee lawyer, I am a photographer, I am a blogger, a daughter, a sister, a swimmer, a writer. I am not my size, or my hair colour or the clothes I wear.

Let me tell you a little secret. Becoming a particular weight or size does not grant the owner of such a figure with a magic key to a Pandora's box full of eternal happiness. You will still hate your job, men will still be dickheads, and Daniel Craig will still have dumped you for Rachel Weisz (oh no wait....thats just me). It just means that occasionally you can buy the hanger at the front of the rail, rather than the one at the back.

If some boy doesn't like you because of your weight....well who wants him anyways? 'Hi Mum and Dad, this is Prince Charming, we cant stay for tea, because if i have a pudding he'll dump me' ...come on girls, thats not what we dreamed of when we stuck trousers on our heads and pretended we were Rapunzel waiting to be rescued by a Knight in shining armour.

How many times have you identified someone by their size or appearance? Stop it. People should not be 'the fat one' or 'the skinny one', or 'the one with the wonky teeth'...how about 'the one with the great hair' or 'the funny one' or maybe even 'the one with the unhealthy obsession Ryan Gosling' (definitely my identifier). The fact is, as soon as we stop looking negatively at people, people will stop looking negatively at us.

I do not have children, but when I do, I do not want my son or daughter to have a list of dreams and aspirations underneath a weight or clothes size that they are more desperate to achieve than those said dreams or aspirations.

What I am saying is, shake off the stereotypes, do not belittle your potential to do amazing things by wasting your energy on the foolish pursuit of a size or hairstyle. Love what you see when you look in the mirror because of the potential the person staring back at you has to achieve marvellous things.

You are beautiful, why not pass it along?